Saturday, April 2, 2011

My Baby Discovery

It’s been 9 days, and what an insane week! It’s been absolutely exciting, but insane. The story begins the first day of last year (2010), when I decided to stop my birth control pills. From all of my research, I gathered it would take a little while for me to get pregnant because I’ve been on them for so long. I failed to have any monthly cycles in the following months, and pregnancy tests done in March and June were negative. August was my yearly check-up, and I talked to the doctor about wanting to have a baby. If I’m not producing eggs, I’m not producing babies was the response. So he gave me extra progesterone to see if that would spark a cycle. I took it and it worked, but by September I was “dried up” again. So I went back and he gave me more, along with Clomid to make me ovulate. All the while, I had another test at the office that came up negative.
The timing didn’t seem to be good then. With the holidays coming up, and my yearly MRI in January I thought it best to wait. Time goes by, and I have my MRI, in which the technician said he spotted a new lesion on my brain, even though my neurologist said he couldn’t see where it was. I had a choice: start a 6 month steroid I.V. or wait a few months and have another MRI, in which case I may have to take the steroids anyway. I opted to just start them and get it over with. I had them  the beginning of February and March, and then the fun really began!
The steroids were sucking the energy out of me. By the second month I was having a hard time with digestion, and was a little “backed-up”. I tried a generic softener that I broke out in hives over, and spent 3 days jacked up on Benadryl. Then I tried some natural herbs that helped, but for almost 3 weeks I had a hardening of the lower abdomen, and felt quite bloated. No matter what I did I couldn’t get rid of it. So, I went to my family doctor who said he could feel the hardness. He asked when my last period was, and I chuckled a little and said September, but that was the only period I had last year. It all made perfect sense to me. I only had 1 period in the course of a year, and the steroids I was on caused constipation, fatigue, and water/sodium retention. So he asked that I take a pregnancy test first, and then we could look into a possible ovarian cyst or something of the sort. We didn’t even need to go that far because he came back in with a positive test.
That was 9 days ago on Tuesday, March 22, 2011. Dr. Brandon, my family doctor, had guessed by the size of my bump that I was 20 weeks along. I had an ultrasound done the very next day, which not only confirmed a baby, but that I was 18 weeks and 6 days in. Nice estimate doctor! I can’t even begin to tell you how overwhelmed I was to see my baby for the first time. And it wasn’t like every other pregnancy where you start out with what looks like a grain of rice. There’s a head, arms, hands, legs, feet, and a heartbeat. And the little guy was nice enough to show his “family jewels”.  And all I could do was look at my husband and say, “You’re grandma’s gonna be so happy.” There is now a Rude baby boy to carry on the name.
 I keep beating myself up a little, for eating the way I had the last 5 months, and for having all those tests done. I can only call it a “God thing” that all of the tests do not cause harm to a fetus, as well as the MS medicine I am on. I promise to do my best the second half of this pregnancy to take care of the little man, no matter how sick of “rabbit food” I get. We are off to a good start by purchasing what I call “fat pants”. These suckers are so comfortable I may wear them indefinitely! Wow, did my belly get really big really fast! I’m still shocked, and overjoyed about our new little blessing. God is so good! But now, I'm 5 months behind on planning. Names..shower for here and Ohio..registering. So much to do, and so much to decide. Maybe I'll think about it after a nice long nap :-)

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

The Tent of Meeting

Exodus 33:7-11

The Tent of Meeting
 7 Now Moses used to take a tent and pitch it outside the camp some distance away, calling it the “tent of meeting.” Anyone inquiring of the LORD would go to the tent of meeting outside the camp. 8 And whenever Moses went out to the tent, all the people rose and stood at the entrances to their tents, watching Moses until he entered the tent. 9 As Moses went into the tent, the pillar of cloud would come down and stay at the entrance, while the LORD spoke with Moses. 10 Whenever the people saw the pillar of cloud standing at the entrance to the tent, they all stood and worshiped, each at the entrance to their tent. 11 The LORD would speak to Moses face to face, as one speaks to a friend. Then Moses would return to the camp, but his young aide Joshua son of Nun did not leave the tent.

Moses had such an awesome relationship with God.

Vs. 7 - Location, Location, Location:
Moses had a specific place set aside to meet with the Lord.  He intentionally located this place away from the rest of the camp.  Moses' time with God was in a specific location, for a specific purpose and during that time, he specifically left the camp.  The area that was comfortable, where he was protected, but this was also a place where he could be distracted.  Moses isolated himself and put himself in a vulnerable position so that he could not only pray to the Lord, he could have an encounter with him

Vs. 8 - All The Respect:
The people that Moses was leading had a respect for Moses and his relationship with God, that the people would stop what they were doing and watch Moses enter "The Tent of Meeting".  They would stand at the entrance of their own tent watching Moses as he went to meet with the Lord.  I get the feeling Moses was seen a little like how we would see a celebrity today.  We'll strain our necks to get that one last glimpse before they walk out of sight.

Vs. 9 - The Pillar:
God came and was represented in a tangible way.  The Pillar of Cloud.  A cloud.  Something that can be seen, but the closer you get to a cloud, it almost changes.  Can you touch a cloud, what does a cloud "feel like".   The closer you get to a cloud, our understanding of it changes.  When a cloud comes down from the sky to be around us, we call it fog, simply because it's close to the surface of the earth.  Do we change our view of God as we get closer to him?

Vs. 10 - The Worship:
The people worshiped whenever the cloud was there, because they knew Moses was having a conversation with God.  Are we worshiping when God is moving?  When He is close by?  Do we worship God when He is working in the life of someone else, or someone else connects with him, or is our worship only prompted by our own experience with Him?

Vs. 11 - Face to Face:
Moses spoke to God face to face.  A conversation with God Almighty just as you would have with a friend standing right in front of you.  Moses - just a man that was called by God - had a "face to face" encounter with God.  Is God that real in our lives that we speak with Him just as if He were standing right in front of us?

Does God not reveal Himself to us this way any more, or is He standing right in front of us and we are oblivious to His presence because we have turned a cloud into fog?